Saturday, June 5, 2010

Birdemic: Shock and Terror (2008, James Nguyen)

Finally, my first free movie screening thanks to this here site.  Thank you site.  My friend and I drove into Boston (Cambridge technically) to the best worst theater in the area (The Brattle) to check out Birdemic.  I had read about the film online and really didn't know what to expect.  The fact that it is being distributed by Severin Films is really what made the film a must see, based on their incredible output of sleaze.

The film starts out with the main character Rod (Alan Bagh) driving down the street, walking around and sitting in a coffee shop.  The camera frequently misses the action points (not that there really are any) and the footage of Rod looks as if it was filmed on a camcorder by a blind man.  I immediately knew what I was in for.  Rod ends up meeting (stalking) a girl in the coffee shop that he remembers from high school and somehow manages to exchange phone numbers.  The girl, Nathalie (Whitney Moore) is a fashion model who heads off to a photo shoot at a one hour photo shop.  Yes, you read that right.  Rod and Nathalie meet up for some Thai food and end up with big advances in their careers (Rod's company is doing well and he is looking forward to early retirement while Nathalie becomes a Victoria's Secret model).  They also find out that their friends are dating and agree to go on a double date.  After finally sealing the deal in a motel room, Rod and Nathalie wake up to find the city (world?) taken over by killer eagles (yes eagles).  Not just any eagles though.  These eagles not only attack people, but they also explode on impact.  Rod and Nathalie meet up with army vet Ramsey (Adam Sessa) and his girlfriend Becky (Catherine Batcha) and they take to the road in Ramsey's van, which happens to be loaded with guns.  They find two abandoned children on the side of the road and take them along to try to find out what is causing the "Birdemic".

How do I begin?  Birdemic was easily the worst movie ever made.  I even hesitate to say so bad its good.  It was just BAD.  The acting (especially Rod who sounded like he had a mouth full of marbles) was atrocious, the camerawork looked like they strapped a cheap camera to an unsuspecting bystander's head and the sound popped, hissed, cut out and frequently drowned out the actor's (if you can call them that) voices with background noise.  Not to mention the sound of the birds attacking which was almost deafeningly loud and ear piercing.  Oh and speaking of the birds, they looked as though they were CGI'd via a child.  Despite all of this (and much, much more), the film was actually very entertaining (thanks to the great late night movie crowd we viewed the film with).  By the end, I'll admit I was a little antsy because some of the gags got old, but through most of the film, the whole crowd was laughing hysterically (even the usher standing behind us).  The film exceeds at being the worst movie of all time and I urge viewers to check the film out in its limited theatrical run because the crowd really enhances the film.  I'm not sure how it would come across on home video, especially if you watch it alone.  I'm convinced it might actually cause insanity or cause the viewer to never watch another film in fear it might be as bad or (gasp!) worse than Birdemic.  Those who have seen it, know that last statement is impossible.

RATING:  7/10*

*(this rating is for the enjoyment level of the film - the film itself is unrateable)

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