What better film to mark the return of my blog than the epic adventure The Beastmaster? None, that's what. I'm sure many of you have memories of watching this movie on video or on cable TV back in the 80s, where it found a huge following. For me it was the USA network on Sunday afternoons. I was pretty much guaranteed to see Tanya Roberts in her slave girl outfit or cute little Kodo and Podo getting into trouble. It had been a long time since I finally re-watched Beastmaster and couldn't believe how much I had forgotten about it.
The Beastmaster is the story of Dar (Marc Singer), the son of a king and queen who are killed by the evil Maax (Rip Torn). Dar is mystically transferred from his mother's womb to a cow's womb (yeah, weird, I know) by one of Maax's witches (who are an extreme example of the word "butter face"). After being removed from the cow, he is saved by a townsman and taught to be a master swordsman. Dar also learns that he is able to telepathically communicate with animals. Damn, I wish I could do that. I'd get some pets and make them get me beer and stuff. Anyway, Dar meets up with a slave girl named Kiri (in a scene that is sure to have caused more wet dreams among boys than any other scene from a PG rated movie ever) as well as young heir Tal (Josh Milrad) and his bodyguard Seth (John "Good Times" Amos). They band together, along with Dar's animal friends (an eagle, a black tiger and two ferrets named Kodo and Podo) to destroy the evil Maax.
The Beastmaster is a fun sword and sorcery film that many people hold dear to their hearts. The movie has many silly things about it but that is its charm. There are great set pieces, sword fights, creatures, animals and lots of fire. The actors are all perfectly cast and there is lots of great creature makeup. If you're looking for a fun sword and sorcery film or just a film that doesn't require a lot of thinking, then The Beastmaster is perfect. That was not an insult either, but a high compliment.