Sunday, April 12, 2009

H.O.T.S. (1979, Danny Bonaduce)

Back when I was a teenager, I was kind of a dork. I was too scared to talk to most girls so I used movies as a way to escape. I would imagine that I was in whatever movie I was watching. Obviously my favorite movies were movies about teenagers, mainly teen comedies and horror flicks from the 70's and 80's. I loved the Meatballs movies, Porkys, Pom Pom many I am forgetting. One movie I looked everywhere for but couldn't find was a little film I caught bits and pieces of on late night HBO featuring Danny Bonaduce from the Partridge Family and a bunch of Playmates. Well folks, here it is about 10 years later, H.O.T.S.!!!!

H.O.T.S. (the letters stand for different things throughout the film) is the story of a bunch of college girls who are rejected from their college's sorority of hotties, PI. They decide to start their own Ecologically-friendly group called Help Out The Seals (get it, H.O.T.S.). They don't use the word sorority so they don't have to obey the college's rules that sororities do. After a string of incidents between PI and H.O.T.S., including a catfight between the two groups' leaders during a wet t-shirt contest, topless skydiving and tricking Richie Walker (Danny Bonaduce) into going to bed with a seal, they decide to end the feud once and for all with a game of Strip Football.

What can I say? This film is technically terrible, but at the same time brilliant. The acting and the story (including a subplot with a couple of bumbling crooks) are about as bad as it gets. But c'mon, who cares? If you take the time to watch a movie like this, you know what to expect. The movie is silly, fun and actually very watchable. I actually wish I was able to track this down when I was a teenager because I know I would have loved it. But you know what, I still love it. Way more than I should in fact. For the type of movie it is, it is perfect.



  1. Actually, I used to zone into movies because the girls were generally better looking and more interesting!

    And sometimes, things never change! Heh.

    Sounds like a fun film - almost like a cross between Revenge of the Nerds and Animal House. I'd see this.

  2. Throw in some Porky's too for good measure. Revenge of the Nerds and Animal House are good reference points, though this film is way stupider. The fact Danny Bonaduce was in it really was the icing on the cake. He sang in it too! It's a classic.

  3. Is there a shower scene? Most of my friends are guys, and the title does imply...but even better if we end up watching two hours of sorority girls saving the seals....

    Thanks for the recommendation..B movie are the best!!!Bring on the cheese..


  4. Elissa,

    I don't recall a shower scene (c'mon, it's been two whole days since I watched it!). There are plenty of other scenes that guys would love that would probably offend the hell out of girls though (strip football, wet t-shirt contest, locker room scenes,etc). So if you're looking for a wholesome comedy about seals, you should rent the movie Andre and let your friends watch this.

  5. Hmmm ... seals. In Blue Planet Seas of Life there's a poor little seal that thought it was safe by shoring up on a sand bar. Unbeknown to the seal the killer whale that was hunting it can continue swimming as long there is at least half a body's worth of water to maneuver. Needless to say ..the killer whale broke water like a surfacing submarine and the seal never knew what hit 'em!!!

    And for some strange reason there was a harness and saddle on the whale with a "H.O.T.S." logo emblazoned on the side. Figure that one out ....... :)